On Bullet Holes and Uninhabited Spaces

Creative Foraging

Looking back, over a twenty five year time span, it can feel like there are more empty parts of me than there are that are occupied.

It has felt like my body was caught in a war zone and that what is left is holes and empty spaces that still remain unoccupied!

Some of the empty spaces seem apartment sized.

Multiple loss is the hole/apartment sized space generator!

Life can shrink as you spend your time looking at the holes!

You can find yourself hole obsessed and focusing on the negative space.

At 60 it felt daunting that so many things that had been an essential part of me, were emptied, leaving holes and big spaces.

It is tough to rebuild.

The good news is that rebuilding can be done.

However, the bullet holes remain a permanent feature, a reminder!

Facing another, admittedly smaller, bullet hole I ponder on my…

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The Soul Rests Eternal

“… the landscape that emerges through my music is rather like the misty dawn of a new day; a day not yet ripened by the sun, but one that shows the promise of a warmer future – a way through the emotional morass.”

Take the time to read the delightful new interview in the Salon du Muse at the Soul Food Cafe. Heather Blakey, web mistress of  Soul Food, takes the time to interview British composer, Mike Sheppard. This interview explores spirit and soul and shines some light on the path for those suffering from bereavement.

Diamonds

I wrote the following Grief-poem when I was thinking (and deeply feeling) about my friend, whose young-adult daughter had died in a car accident, and a client whose 2 children had died within one year.

I was also reflecting on the loss of my infant son years earlier. I began wondering what I had wanted or needed when I was grieving – and what I could offer to my friend and my client in their grief. This poem is a result of that reflecting.

Diamonds

I thought that my role was

to hold up a lantern

in the dark,

subterranean

labrynths.

Shine you the path

until your eyesight

adjusted

and you could take it

on your own.

Turns out that my role is

to sit with you

naked,

in the cold,

pitch

dark

on the rim of a yawning chasm.

And, at times, to move with you

our foreheads glistening with fear,

clammy hands clasped together –

backs to the wall

groping our way,

occasionally stubbing our toes on diamonds.

WordPress Featured Blog – Temple of Solace

On the following day of Lori’s post picked up by Portugese WordPress, English WordPress have captured the post made giving the news, with Temple of Solace again appearing as “Featured Blog”. Fantastic. This follows Heather’s post for Bo being featured a little earlier this month. The Temple is proving a place where people want to gather.

(copyright Imogen Crest 2007.)

Accepting Horror

Monday, April 16 was a day of pouring rain and high winds. Giant trees crashed to earth, blocking the highways. People struggled to get to work. In Blacksburg, Virginia, a gunman (or perhaps more) slaughtered 31 people over the course of two hours.

I was running a training class, aware only of the weather. As I often do, I had sent myself class material on my Yahoo account, knowing I could pull it up at a moment’s notice. I called up the link and saw the computer’s ‘busy’ signal–the wheel spinning, the screen blank. My heart dropped into my stomach and I felt sick and lightheaded. The last time this had happened was also a training day, but it was more than five years ago on September 11.

As I waited to have my fear confirmed, one of the students read the headline out loud, “Largest mass murder in the U.S. as 20 are shot at Virginia Tech.” Almost immediately the number began to rise. My niece is a senior at Virginia Tech.

Even later when I found out she was safe, I had questions. Please find out what they are so you can help me answer them.