I wrote the following Grief-poem when I was thinking (and deeply feeling) about my friend, whose young-adult daughter had died in a car accident, and a client whose 2 children had died within one year.

I was also reflecting on the loss of my infant son years earlier. I began wondering what I had wanted or needed when I was grieving – and what I could offer to my friend and my client in their grief. This poem is a result of that reflecting.


I thought that my role was

to hold up a lantern

in the dark,



Shine you the path

until your eyesight


and you could take it

on your own.

Turns out that my role is

to sit with you


in the cold,



on the rim of a yawning chasm.

And, at times, to move with you

our foreheads glistening with fear,

clammy hands clasped together –

backs to the wall

groping our way,

occasionally stubbing our toes on diamonds.