Getting Plastered (on ice cream)

Last week was Seanna’s birthday.  She would have been 16.  16 and most certainly not sweet.  *smile* We loved her dearly for that gorgeous wildness.  Truly, Seanna was the Wild Woman I want to be again.  I was overly optimistic about the day not being difficult for me, for us.  We didn’t celebrate her birthday grandly mainly because she didn’t understand that particular marking of time.  It meant nothing to her.  As far as she believed she had always existed and so had we.  But this year it meant everything to me.  Just everything.  I completely fell apart and haven’t quite done up the seams yet.  I miss her so much I feel sick to my stomach.  I dissolved into tears and they flow still. 

Grief is not like a broken arm; it does not heal in six weeks.  There is no cast, and if there were certainly the heart and soul would not be made whole again within six weeks, able to bear the weight of daily living.  No.  There is something interesting about that six week mark though.  I stayed in bed about that long after she died and only at six weeks did the tears and pain crash over me.  A week since her birthday, I’ve not been out of my pyjamas for two days now and am nearly to the bottom of my second bucket of ice cream.  Bucket, darlings, not “bowl”.  I keep Clarissa’s “Women Who Run With Wolves” nearby and dip into every few hours.  She’s writing this for women *exactly* like me and there is so, so much to digest.  So much that is difficult.  I can’t concentrate for the pain it brings to the surface.

Steph

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Secret Grotto

Raven Guide

A few days after your visit to Sibyl’s Tree you return, looking to explore further. When you were in the chamber you realised that there were doors that led deeper within the tree. Like the young woman who could not resist using the one key that Blue Beard forbade her to use, you cannot help yourself. The desire to discover more is simply too strong.

Upon arriving at the tree you crawl in the narrow opening, knowing now that it will adjust to you and your size. There is still a strong smell of wood and moss and it is damp and moist inside. Within the darkness you reach and touch the walls and you can feel the blood pulsating through the veins of this living organism. Your eyes adjust to the darkness quite quickly this time and now you move forward without any hesitation. The path is familiar.

You come to the end of a passageway. In the centre of the side is a doorway made of two immense upright stones topped by a massive lintel. There are two torches burning at the door providing light for the entrance into a cavern. You emerge into a shadowy great hall. Today it is empty. There is no one waiting to talk to you. For a brief moment you wonder if you should have taken it upon yourself to return but then you notice that one of the doors is adjar and so you make your way through it.

The door leads to a landing and you carefully make your way down some stairs. To your surprise it is lit with torches. The passageway leads to another cavern. You can see beyond the cavern. There is water, lush green grass and a jetty where small boats are moored. The sunlight sparkles off it. Across the lake is a deep green wood.

As you walk out on to the jetty your feel a crisp cool breeze upon your face and you sigh with contentment. You spin and swirl, admiring the beauty of this tranquil setting. All is quiet. You sit upn a stone that is shaped as if it is a chair. It is just the right size for you. As you enjoy the beauty of this natural setting you are aware of a rustling and out of the corner of your eye you discern a movement.

Something comes to you. It may soar from above or come to you on foot. The creature offers you passage upon one of the boats that are moored nearby………

Tree Spirit

Kookaburra – A Spirit Bird

Ten months since Darryl’s death it is still a struggle. The left and right parts of my brain appear to be at war with one another. The left fills me with doubts and uncertainties while the right wants me to rebuild and fearlessly seek out treasure. A new meditative tool has appeared as a result of my shiatsu therapist. I have found the work of Ted Andrews. Animal Speak and Animal Wise are two books that are near my bedside table and I have decided to learn more about my animal totems. Raven and dog have been with me for a long time but today a new guide emerged.

kingfisher.jpg

General Description:

The kookaburra is a large, Australian species of kingfisher. It is a carnivorous bird and has developed some fame as being a snake and lizard killer. Kookaburras are famous for their cackling call which sounds unmistakably like raucous laughter. Kookaburras are intelligent and quite social, and can become quite tame at picnic spots, accepting handouts from people. Kookaburras mate for life, and both care for the young. Offspring are known to remain and help care for new families. A kookaburra’s beak can reach 10cm in length. They are predated upon by foxes, cats and raptors.

Lessons and Challenges:

The presence of kookaburra in a reading (or in your observations) indicates that it is a time of signals and omens. Kookaburra is a strong, bold energy which tends to resonate with god energies. Pay attention to opportunities around you, and listen to nature and to the world around you, you may find that you are being given some important messages at this time.

The kookaburra encourages us to use laughter as a form of healing. Laughter can be a positive force for the body, even when we force it and we don’t really ‘feel’ it. Laughter between people is a way that reinforces bonding and helps us to enjoy life even when things are very tough. Look at how much you laugh every day, chances are if kookaburra has flown into your life you could stand to laugh a little more. It is time to turn your hurt into happiness, and the power of laughter is a great road to doing just that.

Kookaburra draws our attention to family, and our family relationships. Often kookaburra energy suggests that family connections are important in our lives at this time, either because of rivalry (particularly amongst siblings) or because we are looking at our role within the family unit. Ask yourself what your responsibilities are to your family, and what their responsibilities are to you. If you feel you are not being honoured or respected enough by your blood relations, ask yourself if you have given them the honour and respect you feel you deserve.

Kookaburra has a very powerful healing energy, and its presence in a reading or in your life can indicate a time when profound healing is occurring. This healing is not just happening to you, but to people around you, and creates a more healthful ripple effect that creates positive changes to come. Kookaburra can indicate that the querent has reached the end of a difficult journey, and new healthful growth has already begun.

The best way to end old patterns that no longer help us, is by confronting why we developed them in the first place. Often we develop bad habits or negative thought patterns because of fear and insecurities. Kookaburra is the energy of conquering fears and in turn, ending old patterns that aren’t nourishing. If there is a particular habit that you’re not happy with, working with kookaburra energy can help to dissolve it.

Everyone has personal truths, these might be thoughts, or ethics that particularly resonate with who you are as a person. A personal truth for example, might involve recognising that you are an artist or a healer at heart, or could indicate that you will stand up for your beliefs, gender, race or sexuality. Kookaburra helps you to hunt down your truths, and these truths enable you to recognize your own inner strength. In turn, you are able to teach your truths to others, and also aid others in finding and recognizing their own truths. You may find yourself teaching others in an informal setting, by sharing your passions and your beliefs with others.

From a light-hearted position, kookaburra encourages us to better woo our partners and our friends. It is time to shower them with presents even if it is not their birthday! If you have no money, you can hand-make cards or presents, cook them sweets or food, or even just gift them with your presence and attention. Let the people around you know that they are loved.

The Shadow Aspects:

Kookaburra’s shadow energy is very confrontational, and can teach harsh and abrasive lessons. Kookaburra teaches us the value of family. We cannot take our children, or our parents for granted, even if they do not seem to ‘nourish’ us on the surface. Family should be respected no matter what, no matter what arguments take place, no matter how you have been deceived, no matter how you have deceived others. Kookaburra forces you to confront issues relating to ‘family,’ either by constantly bringing family drama to the surface, or by highlighting how lonely you feel without a strong sense of what it is to have a family.

Communion:

Like all animal helpers, this animal will only appear when right and appropriate, and cannot be forced to visit you, commune with you, or share messages with you. Kookaburra energy – particularly in Australia – is quite forthcoming and bold, and while it may be an easy energy to ‘contact,’ kookaburra is not always an easy guide to communicate with! In my own spiritual encounters, kookaburra can be quite harsh and clipped, delivering short (and sometimes cryptic) messages. However, this will change depending on what kookaburra is trying to teach you! Remember to be respectful, kookaburra is a predator, and has a very proud energy.

from Wildspeak, Totem Dictionary – perfect for Australians

Kookaburra Flies in Bringing Memories

wildspeak-kookaburra.jpg

courtesy of WildSpeak 

As a small child my favourite Sunday outing was a visit to the Arches, a place I have written about on this site. The Arches, on the Dargo Road, approximately eight kilometer outside Briagolong, in East Gippsland, Victoria was the enchanted world that I was privileged to regularly visit with my parents, brothers and sister during the 1950’s. One of my strongest memories is of Archie Hair, feeding a ‘pet’ Kookaburra small pieces of sausage. Archie and his Kookaburra taught me about light, laughter and treasure, about prospecting and searching for gold. As I try to rebuild my life this does seem to be a challenge that faces me.

Sibyl in Wonderland

Sibyl Meditation

Since coming home to Riversleigh, after a long stay in the City of Ladies, Sibyl Riversleigh is planning to spend a good deal of time showing people her estate. Sibyl does not take typical tours. She prefers to head out on little day adventures. Today she is in the garden and will lure people through a portal with a diffence. If you choose to come with Sibyl post your repsonses under Sibyl’s Scrapbook here at the house and do make sure to keep a copy in your room for safekeeping.

Sibyl’s Portal.

You head out of your room and down the grand staircase, a staircase that is very much like the staircase in Gone With the Wind or Rebecca. Ebony Wilder, the housekeeper, who has come back to Riversleigh with Sibyl, greets you briefly and reminds you that dinner is at 7.00 p.m sharp. Since it is only early in the morning and the sun is shining brightly you give this little thought. You have a basket of supplies with some sandwiches and a thermos so the day is your oyster so to speak. You smile at Ebony. Perhaps it is a trick of the light but you look back because you are sure Ebony had changed shape as you turned to leave. Things are like this here in Riversleigh. Things have a habit of changing shape and tomorrow even the staircase may be gone and you may find your room is a small quarter in a place that looks nothing like what it looks like today. No wonder Alice got confused when she went down that hole with the rabbit.

As you wend your way through the walled garden and towards the grove beyond you sing a little song and think happy thoughts. Sparkling sunlight and soft greens surround you. Riversleigh’s gardens are amongst the most beautiful in the world, rivaling Sissinghurst or Hidecote Manor.

When you arrive at the grove you find Sibyl and some other residents gathered. Sibyl is leading a meditation which involves an old tree. This tree has boughs which seem to reach into the heavens. The branches block your view of the sky and you cannot see the uppermost branches. An apple is growing on one branch but it does seem that there are walnuts on another.

There is a small opening at the base of this old tree and Sibyl encourages you to crawl inside. After a momen’t hesitatation you crawl in the narrow opening, only to find that it opens as you move, as if adjusting to you and your size. There is a strong smell of wood and moss and it is damp and moist inside. Within the darkness you reach and touch the walls and you can almost feel the blood pulsating through the veins of this living organism. Your eyes have not adjusted and it takes some courage to move forward in the darkness.

At first it is quiet but then you are aware that there is a distinct sound here. As you move forward the sound gets louder. Could this be a heartbeat? Are you listening to the heartbeat of the tree, to the heartbeat of creation? You move forward slowly and carefully but it is all so surreal and feels dream like.

You come to the end of a passageway. In the centre of the side is a doorway made of two immense upright stones topped by a massive lintel. There are two torches burning at the door providing light for the entrance into a cavern. It feels like a womb.

You emerge into a shadowy great hall. In the centre is a hearth with the glowing embers of a fire. Seated before the fire facing away from you is a hooded figure. Across the hearth from this figure is a bench. You circle halfway around the hearth clockwise and sit facing the figure. This is one of your guide. You bow before your guide.

As you look into the eyes of your guide you realise that you are looking in to your own eyes.

You may now question your guide. Your guide provides some answers to your questions.

When you have finished, your guide gives you a token that you will be able to use for help and guidance after your return to Riversleigh.

In a fair exchange, your guide now asks you a question. Answer as best you can. You find that you have a gift for your guide. Look at it and present it to your guide with thanks.

Finish your circuit around the hearth, go behind the guide, and carefully retrace your steps.

You come back to Riversleigh just in time for dinner where guest share their experiences inside Sibyl’s old tree.

Inside Tree

‘Sibyl in Wonderland’
by Heather Blakey November 2007